Cover image courtesy of Wikipedia.
Pick a Date for Date Party and We’ll Tell You Which of Your Friends He’s Fucked!
Could this be “the Big one”? But then you remembered that your roommate in the top bunk is a total floozy.
Congratulations, you’ve been accepted to UC Berkeley, the #1 public university in the world! Get ready for a year of learning, growth, and lifelong memories. But be careful, you wouldn’t want to sully your first year of college with a common form of inflammatory arthritis that causes severe pain, redness, and tenderness in your joints. So let’s see- can you make it through your freshman year without getting gout?
Normal Herpes is exactly what you know Herpes to already be, while Coachella Herpes can be identified by cold sores with floppy hats on or obscene amounts of glitter in the genital region. Take this quiz to figure out if you have normal Herpes or Coachella Herpes!
Could the source of this strong, visceral feeling inside possibly be caused by your deep support of Bernie Sanders, the socialist star of the 2020 Democratic presidential race, or do you have a semi-serious medical condition?
Ah, Cal Day…it’s the biggest day of cop-free debauchery on the UC Berkeley calendar, except for all the other ones.
What you decide to do for Cal Day says a lot about you, and so naturally, we at The Free Peach will be giving you a Moffitt Floor that correlates with your plans! Go Bears!
Let’s find out together.