The protest lasted several hours, and included speeches made by prominent members of the club. The president, amidst roaring cheers from the crowd, made a speech outlining CUCK’s distaste with the university’s decision to tear down Evans Hall. In a dramatic conclusion, he began a lively chant, “Get up! Get down! There’s an ugly movement in this town!” The chant soon caught on, but became muddled as it made its way through the crowd. Dozens of protesters sympathetic to the cause could be heard yelling “Get down! Get down! There’s an ugly member of this crowd!”
New DNA Evidence Exonerates Me of Accidentally Taking Your GBC Order, Kevin
BERKELEY, Calif. — Following careful deliberation, UC Berkeley’s Forensics Department has determined that new DNA evidence exonerates me of accidentally taking your GBC order, Kevin. …
7 Hidden Gems in Dwinelle Hall
Finding a class in Dwinelle Hall is a UC Berkeley rite of passage. According to legend, sibling rivalry caused two architect brothers to split the design of the building and cobble it together later, resulting in the trauma of tens of thousands of freshmen and upperclassmen alike. The following are some hidden gems that may brighten your spirits the next time you’re hopelessly lost in the building!
Why Convert to Christianity When You Can Worship My Consulting Club?
Sure, Jesus is great and all, but you know what’s even better? Consulting. College can be a tough, sometimes terrifying experience, and when you are …
James Webb Telescope Reveals Supermassive Body At Center of Our Galaxy Actually Your Mom
NASA’s James Webb Telescope has recently identified the vast, dense, awe-inspiring body at the center of our galaxy not to be a black hole, as had been previously assumed. After years of intimate analysis, new data has unveiled a shocking discovery: the supermassive object which binds the galaxy together is, in fact, your mom.
Leonardo DiCaprio Confesses He Actually Just Never Learned To Count Higher Than 25
LOS ANGELES — Following a break-up with girlfriend Camila Morrone, 47-year-old actor Leonardo DiCaprio announced that the real reason he dates women significantly younger than …
Aww! Kid Recruiting You on Sproul Can’t Wait to Brutally Reject You
He hands you a flier as you walk unassumingly across Sproul Plaza. He beckons you over to his co-ed business fraternity’s table under their custom-embroidered …
The Clintons Strike Again? Second Campanile Falcon Found Dead Under Suspicious Circumstances
BERKELEY, Calif. — Scarcely four and a half months after the ‘accidental death’ of Grinnell, a second Campanile falcon has been found dead on the …
Dorm Decorating Time! 4 Cute Mirrors From Target That Will Exacerbate Your Body Dysmorphia
Welcome back to campus! There’s nothing quite like putting your own personal touch on your room as you decorate for the upcoming semester – but …
OPINION: I’m Not Forgiving Student Loan Until She Actually Apologizes
Student loan and I go way back. We met at the end of my senior year of high school, and at first, everything was picture …