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Posted on October 13, 2026 by: Alexander Paris-Callahan

UC Berkeley Celebrates Ranking As #1 Producer Of Startups Most Likely To End Humanity

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Posted on November 19, 2021November 19, 2021 by: Bernard Chan

OPINION: Moffitt Seismic Upgrade to Accommodate the Tremors of My Thicc Ass

Recently, university staff have announced that Moffitt, the beloved school library and best place for crying before finals, will be closed for the Spring 2022 …

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Posted on November 18, 2021 by: Valmic Mukund

Michael Drake Blames Traffic for Taking 2 Years to Arrive at UCAFT Negotiating Table

BERKELEY, Calif. – Massive strikes were averted Wednesday morning when the University of California finally agreed to a fairer labor contract with UCAFT lecturers. The …

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Posted on November 18, 2021November 18, 2021 by: lyamashir01

‘I’m Giving Giving Tree,’ Says the Giving Tree Who’s a Tree That’s Giving, Giving Tree, Giving Giving, Giving Giving Tree, and Also Giving Giving Giving Tree

BERKELEY, Calif. — Authorities at UC Berkeley distributed reports this past Sunday of a tree that was reportedly a giving tree who was a tree …

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Posted on November 17, 2021 by: emmasmith6

OPINION: The Berkeley Thai House Combo Was Written by a Woman

Last week at Berkeley Thai House, as I sat beneath the cherry-blossom canopy, listening to the sweet sound of the fountains, and spending the last …

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Posted on November 17, 2021 by: schaudhury253

How to Tell Your White Roommates Gilmore Girls Is Just Okay

BERKELEY, Calif. — Sophomore Anika Khan watched Gilmore Girls for the first time this past month after her roommates insisted it was a classic. “How …

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Posted on November 16, 2021 by: Julia Wong

OPINION: “Midterm Season” Is a Scam Created by Big Academia to Sell More Exams

As temperatures plummet and the trees on Sproul grow as barren as my social calendar, I know that the seasons have changed. In fact, I …

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Posted on November 15, 2021November 15, 2021 by: Valmic Mukund

Carol Christ Spotted on Sproul With Pete Davidson

BERKELEY, Calif. – Sources confirmed Friday that Chancellor Carol Christ was spotted on Sproul Plaza holding hands with New York City native Pete Davidson. “They …

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Posted on November 14, 2021 by: Valmic Mukund

Biden Shows CNR Students Solidarity by Falling Asleep During Lecture on Climate Change

GLASGOW, Scotland — Putting to rest any notions that he is out of touch with the youth, U.S. President Joe Biden recently demonstrated his solidarity …

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Posted on November 13, 2021 by: Tohar Zamir

Alarming Number of Students Robbed by Someone Other Than Financial Aid Office

BERKELEY, Calif. – Students and faculty alike were shocked last week as students were bombarded with several UCPD alerts detailing armed robberies and grand-theft gasoline. …

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Posted on November 12, 2021November 12, 2021 by: lyamashir01

Rodgers’ Legacy Almost Complete: QB Throws Tantrums, Misinformation, but No Complete Passes

BERKELEY, Calif. — In a recent publicity stunt, infamous Cal quarterback Chase Garbers, came searingly close to mimicking Cal football alum (’04) and Greenbay Packers …

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