Cafe Definitely, I Ran the Numbers
I’ll Tell You Where You Should Go For Spring Break, But Only If You Help Me Out Of This Little Hole
I’d be totally down to tell you where to go for spring break, but I need you to help me out of this tiny, dirty hole. Sound good?
Spaghetti Is The Worst Noodle And This Is Why (by Cal Dining)
The Following Argument is completely unbiased and objective.
Top Four Places To Send Refugees From Florida Once Everything Fucking Floods
Because climate change isn’t real, right?
Mandela Effect Case Study: Didn’t UC Berkeley Use To Be Cool?
Is anyone else freaking out about this?
Cal Sorority Girls Rush to Contract Norovirus in Time for Coachella
Go forth and enjoy, Bears! Use our promo codes HITMYJUUL and MAKEOUTWITHASTRANGER for a Norovirus discount this spring!
Reviewing Student Action’s Executive Slate Based Only on their Photos
If you don’t agree with our assessment, we guess you could actually read into the candidate’s platforms, but that seems like overkill.
Reviewing Cal SERVE’s Executive Slate Based Only on their Photos
And by exhaustive and thorough, we mean we looked at their announcement photos and made up some shit that feels accurate.
Plants Rights Activists Stage Disturbing Protest On Sproul
“Harvest Is Murder,” “Love Your Roots, Stop Eating Carrots,” and “Corn: America’s Most Exploited Worker.”
