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Posted on November 3, 2026 by: Audrey Ryder

Unemployed Haas Man Votes No on 40, Claims He “Could See Himself as a Billionaire by Next Year”

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Posted on April 18, 2019October 7, 2021 by: Maeve Sneddon

Are You “Feeling the Bern” Or Do You Just Have a UTI?

Could the source of this strong, visceral feeling inside possibly be caused by your deep support of Bernie Sanders, the socialist star of the 2020 Democratic presidential race, or do you have a semi-serious medical condition?

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Posted on April 17, 2019April 17, 2019 by: The Free Peach

In Another Massive Overreaction, the ASUC Judicial Council Decides To Publicly Execute Carol Christ Over A Parking Ticket

Yet, there is already a central takeaway. Democracy functions best when built upon the broad shoulders of bureaucratic technicalities.

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Posted on April 16, 2019October 7, 2021 by: The Free Peach

SHOCKING: Your Next 20 ASUC Senators Exposed

This past weekend, the fate of Berkeley was greatly impacted. Twenty eager candidates who are going to take bold strides and truly improve their resumes …

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Posted on April 16, 2019May 13, 2021 by: The Free Peach

20 Superb Events That Could Be Real Now That They Got That $6 Referendum Money!

ASUC Superb presents: ASUC Superb

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Posted on April 16, 2019September 28, 2022 by: The Free Peach

6 Ways To Enjoy the Sunny Weath— Oh, Fuck, It’s Raining Again

Here are 6 wonderful ways to take advantage of the beautiful, sunny weather now that it’s finally spri— oh, fuck.

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Posted on April 16, 2019May 13, 2021 by: Sarah Cassell

Top Thirty Songs We Heard On Cal Day

Swan Lake, Act 3. No. 16 Ballabile: Dance of the Corps de Ballet and the Dwarves: Moderato assai, Allegro vivo.

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Posted on April 12, 2019May 13, 2021 by: The Free Peach

You’re a Drunk White Boy in a Banana Costume. Can You Get Into This Cal Day Party?

Ah, Cal Day…it’s the biggest day of cop-free debauchery on the UC Berkeley calendar, except for all the other ones.

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Posted on April 12, 2019September 11, 2021 by: Sammy Cornick

Which Moffitt Floor Are You Based Off Of Your Plans For Cal Day?

What you decide to do for Cal Day says a lot about you, and so naturally, we at The Free Peach will be giving you a Moffitt Floor that correlates with your plans! Go Bears!

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Posted on April 12, 2019May 12, 2021 by: Amanda Mier

10 Ways to Justify Your Parents Spending $60k On Your Gender and Women’s Studies Major While You Do Dirty Girl Scouts in Front of Your Parents and Siblings This Cal Day

We hope these key points help when your parents inevitably look at you with horror in their eyes and an all-consuming sense of regret!

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Posted on April 12, 2019May 13, 2021 by: Ethan Schlatter

The Definitive Ranking of Taylor Swift Albums, Which Yes, I Can Still Listen To and Be Woke. Get Off My Back.

Don’t you fucking judge me, okay? Look, I’m like super woke. I went to the women’s march.

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