top being posers and drink some $2 prosecco, you cretins, while I spray myself with Dom, handcuff a chick with real, police grade cuffs, and bask in the glorious French sun.
18 Things The Person Who Got Up In The Middle of Your Discussion Section is Actually Doing
Getting their tennis racquet restrung.
Cut DKE Some Slack. I Fucked A Goat and it Wasn’t That Bad (by George Clooney)
And it is due to that experience that I can no longer sit idly by as brothers of the Delta Kappa Epsilon Fraternity are stigmatized for their alleged goat-based paraphilia.
Youngest Class Ever?: Meet UC Berkeley’s Class of 2023
The first wave of UC Berkeley’s class of 2023 has arrived! Apparently, these are some of the best applicants ever. We at The Free Peach did a little bit of investigating to figure out who exactly these new students are
UC Berkeley Encourages Turning Point USA To Protest at a School They Could Actually Get Into
So, in compliance with UC Berkeley’s new policy, Turning Point USA has been promptly booted from campus.* Unfortunately, they have sworn they will return, and they have started looking into SAT prep classes. However, to cover their bases, they should probably learn how to read first.
I Won’t Tell My Mom I Love Her Because She Uses An Android
Sorry mom, but get an iPhone, or get the fuck out of my life.
Diversity Win: Josh Has a Thing for ‘Exotic’ Women
What a day for civil rights! Students and faculty at the University of California, Berkeley were thrilled to see that the spirit of social activism is alive and well at the home of the Free Speech Movement, as Cal student Josh Thompson revealed last Thursday that he “has a thing for ‘exotic’ women.”
Listen: What Did You Expect? (by the Academy of Motion Picture Arts and Sciences)
Okay, okay. So you’re all upset that we gave Green Book the Oscar for Best Picture. Hell, some of our members here at the Academy probably are too. But before you throw a temper tantrum, just listen:
What did you expect?
What Font Should Your Murderer Forge Your Suicide Note In?
Specifically, what font should your murderer forge your suicide note in to be most realistic? Just curious! No ulterior motive here! Take our quiz to find out!