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Posted on May 10, 2026 by: Ellie Shaps

Missing Home? Situationship Calls You Mommy for Mother’s Day

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Posted on October 24, 2019September 11, 2021 by: Amma Sarkodee-Adoo

Help! Ruth Bader Ginsburg Stepped On The Seal And Now I’m Going To Lose My Right To An Abortion

A source from the UC Berkeley Office of Traditions and Curses recently confirmed that since Justice Ginsburg is not an enrolled Berkeley student, the bad luck from this incident will follow her to the court, endangering the right to an abortion for millions of Americans.  

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Posted on October 23, 2019October 23, 2019 by: Daniel Menegaz

8 Reasons Why Vampires Respect Women More Than Cal Fraternity Brothers

Vampires won’t send you an unsolicited dick pic. Even if they tried, you’d probably just receive a phone floating in front of a mirror.

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Posted on October 23, 2019May 12, 2021 by: Sam MacKinnon

BREAKING: Kanye West Still Included in your Aunt Karen’s list of Satanist Influences Despite Upcoming Release of “Jesus is King” Album

Kanye West never responded to our email requesting a comment. Updates will be added if he chooses to respond. Your Aunt Karen will maintain her commenting regardless, though. 

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Posted on October 22, 2019May 13, 2021 by: The Free Peach

TFP Presents: RuthWatch

As I contemplate the hold that my government has over my rights, opportunities, and access to my own medical services in a land that is supposed to be “free,” I sit and wonder. What is freedom? I close my eyes and think of RBG.

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Posted on October 21, 2019September 11, 2021 by: Sammy Cornick

Opinion: I Refuse to be Bullied for my Chunky White Filas

Some claim that the size of our sneaker is an overcompensation for qualities we lack elsewhere, yet this could not lean further from the truth. If anything, the weight of our Filas make us even more grounded than ever before

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Posted on October 19, 2019May 19, 2021 by: Cloe Wood

Mid-October Horoscopes

Yo party people, it’s mid October and you know what that means!! The stars have been gossiping and The Free Peach has the inside scoop.

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Posted on October 18, 2019May 14, 2021 by: Vasiliki Koutsoulis

Berkeley RA Under Fire for Confiscating Student’s Emotional Support Bong

Blood tests taken when Strawberry-Fields filed the police report confirmed that she was, in fact, couched as her Blood Marijuana Content was 42.0%.

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Posted on October 17, 2019May 13, 2021 by: Kelsey Ferrell

Was That The Hayward Fault, Or Is Your Roommate Boning Someone In The Top Bunk Again?

Could this be “the Big one”? But then you remembered that your roommate in the top bunk is a total floozy.

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Posted on October 11, 2019October 11, 2019 by: Daniel Menegaz

My 5th grader hates me because I’m a Classic Yellow Wood-Cased Ticonderoga No.2 Pencil and not a Paper Mate Clearpoint Mechanical Pencil :(

My owner’s name is Billy! He is a 5th grader at Newbury Park Elementary School and he loves drawing and peanut butter and jelly sandwiches …

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Posted on October 9, 2019September 11, 2021 by: Sam MacKinnon

Black Out for the Black Out: A PG&E Inspired Drinking Game

Hey fuckers! There are no classes tomorrow, so let’s do what any responsible Golden Bear should: drink! Here’s a great drinking game that allows you to fully participate in UC Berkeley’s binge culture while celebrating the incompetence of PG&E. 

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