I’m guessing this topic has been on the top of everyone’s minds recently, and I’m here to give you the real rundown of my living situation.
1.) Olivia. Coming in hot at numero uno is Olivia. Olivia is a gem of a roommate: she’s neat, considerate, very quiet when getting ready in the morning, and one time she bought you that Black Bottom muffin from Strada just because she thought of you. We love Olivia, and every day we thank the lord that she is who she is, and not Rebecca.
2.) Jade. This one was tricky, because Jade is overall a pretty solid roommate. She’s the only one who remembers to switch the sponge by the sink when it gets gross, and she always includes you in her plans (even when she knows you’re just going to stay in and watch Netflix). Jade has awful music taste which she plays without headphones, but you’re willing to overlook this. Yeah, second is pretty fair for Jade – she’s no Olivia, but you could do much worse than her (cough cough Rebecca).
3.) Alex. Now we’re entering the TEA territory. I’m pretty sure Alex has been using my fancy GlamGlow mud mask without asking me, and although I totally wouldn’t mind sharing, I honestly think that’s SO sus. Also, she sexiled me while I was in the shower the night before my 8 AM Drugs and the Brain midterm. But I’ve tried to cut her some slack because some tension is bound to happen when five girls live together. Whatever, it could be worse: she could be a heinous garbage fire like some roommates I know.
4.) Rebecca. In dead last is Rebecca. Look, this is between me and Rebecca, and I won’t just talk shit on her when this is personal. I don’t want to damage your perception of her just because of our history. After what happened in Thailand…well. I shouldn’t say. But all I can say objectively is that we looked at the data before writing this comprehensive analysis, and Rebecca was the worst roommate with a standard deviation of 1.5. She can go crawl up Satan’s asshole for all I care.
Well, there you go! Hope this cleared the rooming situation up for you!