BERKELEY, Calif. — This morning the Berkeley Meninist Collective (BMC) announced the opening of their new Mexican restaurant, El Burrito, directly across the street from La Burrita in a show of gender equality.
“Every day when I walk down Durant and see La Burrita’s sign, I am rudely reminded of the inequalities I face as a man. I do my best to be a nice guy, but I can’t stay silent any longer. Male Mexican food has been underrepresented in Berkeley for too long,” declares Asher Chadwick, a local incel and BMC member. “Whenever I eat at La Burrita I notice the overwhelming disproportionate amount of feminine-themed Mexican restaurants in Berkeley. In order to continue the fight for men’s rights, I helped create El Burrito, a masculine-themed Mexican restaurant that only serves male-gendered Mexican food. You won’t find quesadillas here, or enchiladas, or carne asada. We only serve food that empowers men: tacos, nachos, queso, and of course, burritos.”
The head chef at La Burrita commented on his new competition.
“Overall, I’m not too concerned about the opening of El Burrito. When someone hears the phrase ‘La Burrita’ they can’t help but feel refined. La Burrita is the Chez Panisse of Mexican restaurant names. El Burrito could never compete with that. Also, it’s a widely known fact that no one comes into La Burrita because they’re craving it,” he said. “All of our customers are hammered. 70% of them are students who see that Taco Bell has too long of a line. The other 30% are kids who feel guilty that Taco Bell isn’t authentic or healthy enough. El Burrito doesn’t appear to be authentic either, so I’m not too concerned.”
At press time a freshman was begging their college advisor to let their work at El Burrito count for their foreign language requirement so they wouldn’t have to take Spanish 2.