I’ll level with you: I’m new here. This is one of the first things I’ve written for The Free Peach. I’ve been trying but… oh geez is this stuff hard. Here’s the thing: Shane Pauker, our beloved leader, doesn’t take no for an answer.
REPORT: Rotting, Maggot-Infested Box On Side Of Road “Definitely Worth Taking A Look At”
Stites has since stated that she doesn’t actually plan to make an effort to go back to look inside the box, citing the fact that she has “too much homework” to walk the two block length today. “Maybe I’ll look tomorrow when I go out to spend half of my weekly allowance on a Strada latte.”
Classics Department Uncovers Greek Text Containing All of ABBA’s Lyrics
At press time, an engineering student in d’Aulaire’s lecture was playing devil’s advocate for Pierce Brosnan’s Mamma Mia! performance.
5 Grad Photo Poses for Your Friend Group That Scream, ‘Best Friends Forever! (But We Fucking Hate You, Jessica. You Will Never Be One of Us.)’
Grab your stoles and champagne and head over to campus to capture this love and celebrate! Use these cute poses to show off your grad moments and incredible friend group to the world – excluding Jessica, of course.
Produce-Related Pickup Lines to Try On That Hot Cashier With the Gauge
Produce-Related Pickup Lines to Try On That Hot Cashier With the Gauge: Are you a vegan-chocolate-covered-raisin? Because I can think of a few things …
I Put Trader Joe’s Everything but the Bagel Sesame Seasoning on an Everything Bagel and I Now No Longer Fear Death
I used to be like you. I used to underestimate the everything bagel. Pish posh, I thought like a character in some poorly-written Anglophile Wattpad …
5 Originals That Are Better Than Their Knockoffs (You Won’t Believe Number #3)
Everyone loves a good original idea. Except, when someone takes your original idea and copies it. Then everyone loves an unoriginal idea. Capitalism, am I right? But some copies are overhyped. Here are five examples of originals that are better than their overrated knockoffs.
Student Claiming Evans Hall Is Beautiful Diagnosed With Covid Due to Lack of Taste
Sophomore Mark Wright was immediately quarantined this morning following reports that he praised Evans Hall’s appearance.
Top 5 Things in Berkeley to Lick Once You’re Vaccinated
1. The Candy? Hole in the Bathroom of Morrison Library There’s this weird hole in the wall between two bathroom stalls in Morrison Library, and …
Premium Properties Demands Gallon of Cum In Addition To 10k Monthly Rent
Berkeley real estate empire Premium Properties recently released new guidelines for existing rental agreements, originally claiming that “due to inflation,” they would be requiring “a half of a bucket of semen in addition to rent, as a precautionary measure.”