PHILADELPHIA, Penn. – Today, Xfinity outlined a new premium pricing arrangement, in which a paltry $19.99 monthly surcharge would reward users with working Wi-Fi. CEO …
Friend Using Wine Bottle as Vase Really Nailing That ‘Young, Frugal, and Sexy’ Look
BERKELEY, Calif. – Recent reports show that your ‘almost 20-year-old’ friend wowed apartment guests this past weekend with decor that really made a statement, specifically, …
Starbucks Renames ‘Chai Tea Latte’ to ‘Masala Milky Milk’
SEATTLE, W.A. – It’s a pumpkin-spice time of year, and as Starbucks’ Bored-Ass Directors attempt to single handedly tackle racism and injustice again, they turn …
Rich Friend Who ‘Owns an Island’ Just Has Upscale Kitchen
ALBANY, Calif.– In an age where extreme wealth has accumulated at the very top of the nation’s income distribution, Cal student Will Daly was shocked …
Bipartisan King? McCarthy Reaches Across Aisle to Get Both Sides to Hate Him
WASHINGTON, D.C. – Following an excruciating nine month tenure, California Republican Kevin McCarthy has been ousted by his party members and enemies (which overlap quite …
‘Business Business Business,’ Says Wall Street Journal About Something, Probably
NEW YORK CITY – After a series of major shocks involving stocks and banks, financial news outlets are declaring that things have happened with money …
New Telegraph Establishment to Sell Experimental Drink ‘Boba’
Berkeley, Calif. –– Telegraph Avenue is no stranger to a continuous turnover of culinary businesses trying to balance extravagant commercial rent and an irritating, bookwormy …
UC Berkeley #1 in Number of Templated Hackathon App Creators Calling Themselves ‘Founders’ on LinkedIn
BERKELEY, Calif. — After routinely residing at the top of reputable rankings lists such as bobsratings.com, BestSchoolz, and InflateMyEgo, UC Berkeley once again leaps ahead …
Shoes-Off Household Also Apparently No-Vacuuming Household
BERKELEY, Calif.– Fueled by the torrential downpour of returning students, the City of Berkeley has been awash with new apartment arrangements poking up through the …
Wicked! Professor Puts Meme on Slide About Excused Absences
BERKELEY, Calif. — Last week, hundreds of Berkeley professors premiered syllabus-review lectures only to receive blank stares, disinterest, and rotten tomatoes. But one man defied …