National Boyfriend Day has a bad habit of just sneaking up on you. Today, without warning, my only safe space, Instagram dot com, was invaded …
Local Harsh Noise Band Performs Set Using Gypsy’s Trattoria Microphone
BERKELEY, Calif. – After forgetting all their distortion and effects pedals, local harsh noise band Stabby Ears made the practical decision to use the Gypsy’s …
Fact-Checking the Vance-Walz Vice Presidential Debate
NEW YORK – Following the Trump-Harris presidential debate, where most argue Harris delivered a much better performance, Governor Tim Walz and Senator JD Vance debated …
Embarrassing! Person I Saw on Dating App Still on Dating App
My pure hatred of dating apps only intensified when I realized the sheer trenches of the selection on Hinge as I was scrolling this past …
URGENT: Does Anyone Have a Blue Book I Can Borrow?
As a professional journalist, it would be both unethical and irresponsible of me to use this platform to amplify my own personal matters – but …
Bottom Alert! Neither Of My Roommates Have The Confidence To Take Out The Trash
BERKELEY, Calif. — The act of allowing the trash to pile high in one’s apartment yet waiting for a different roommate to take it out …
Promoted! Friend Takes Out BOTH Earbuds to Talk to Me
I was having another dreary morning as I forced my dumpy ass to trudge all the way up to fucking Etcheverry for a discussion section. …
UC Berkeley Drops to #2 Public University Because of You Specifically
BERKELEY, Calif. – On the afternoon of September 23rd, 2024, members of the UC Berkeley community were shocked to discover that U.S News had downgraded …
I Am Malala: The Girl Who Stood Up for Waitlisted Students
If I had a nickel for every time someone told me to be grateful for the opportunity to attend UC Berkeley, I would be able …
Breaking! Gig Car That Doesn’t Smell Like Weed and Ass Unearthed
BERKELEY, Calif. — On Sunday morning, after a riotous first few weeks of the semester, junior Tiffany Wilson made a bewildering discovery. Parked two feet …