There’s no wrong place to bust out a good old Irish jig. Think about it—when was the last time you thought, “why is that person polka dancing in the middle of Sproul?” That’s right, you haven’t! We know life gets busy, which is why we took the time to compile the top five jigs that are guaranteed to get you her Snapchat.
Carol Christ’s ‘Undercover Boss’ Episode Canceled Due to Waitlist Status
BERKELEY, Calif. – Despite her passion for the show, Carol Christ will no longer be participating in ‘Undercover Boss’ as she never managed to get off the waitlist for any of her classes.
The Naked Run 2: I Forgot to Take a Towel to the Dorm Shower
Campus janitorial services commended the new tradition: “We’re all for a new Naked Run 2 between the shower and your dorm,” mused Leon Tchotchke, head custodian of Bancroft Library. “You know how many of those little Febreeze wall-plug thingies it takes to get out the Computer Science musk alone out of our paperbacks? That’s without even considering the full hazmat setup we have to use after the PoliEcon kids make their rounds. Just wear the aluminum deodorant guys–ANY deodorant.”
QUIZ: Answer These Questions and We’ll Guess How Much Money You Currently Have in Your Bank Account
Please submit all responses to thefreepeach@gmail.com.
You Won’t Believe What This ASUC Senator Did!
Scandal alert? Check out these 6 crazy things this ASUC Senator did (you won’t believe number 4!)
1. Eat an apple.
University Bans Electric Skateboards and Scooters Due to “Excessively Annoying Vibes”
“Due to an abundance of excessively annoying vibes, and incidents of lesser importance like civilian deaths, use of the following is henceforth banned on campus: electric skateboards, scooters, and any human-operated vehicle that travels at a velocity only appropriate for the German Autobahn,” the Chancellor’s Office announced in their official statement.
Awkward! I Just Ran Over Someone I Haven’t Spoken To Since Middle School
Kenneth is definitely giving off ‘please-go-away’ vibes. He hasn’t made eye contact with me the entire time I’ve been standing here. In fact, his eyes (and every other part of him) haven’t moved at all for the last several minutes. I get it; it’s really weird to meet someone again after such a long time apart. Guess this is my cue to leave.
Class Announcements on Ed but Not Edd or Eddy
BERKELEY, Calif. – Following the announcement that UC Berkeley would officially transition from Piazza to EdStem for course communications, students and faculty are outraged as …
Excuse Me? Only Congress Can Declare A Thumb War
Excuse me? What the fuck did you just say to me, you fascist piece of shit? If I heard you correctly (and believe me, I …
‘There’s No Such Thing As a Stupid Question’ Says Professor Who Hasn’t Heard What I’m About to Ask
BERKELEY, Calif. – Professor Gordon Lievschitz began his class this past Monday with the reassuring phrase, “there’s no such thing as a stupid question,” in …