For as long as I can remember, I’ve avoided going to office hours. I hated the idea of lingering just outside a professor’s office door …
Local Villain Posts Entire Concert on Instagram Story
SAN FRANCISCO — Senior Kennedy Rosewood recently went to the Taylor the Maker concert at the Warfield, notifying 500 of her closest friends when posted …
QUIZ: Tell Us Your Hogwarts House and We’ll Tell You You’re a Fucking Nerd!
Cover image courtesy of Wikipedia.
Santa’s Elves Excited to Take Seasonal Break From Working Behind MLK Amazon Lockers
BERKELEY, Calif. – With the holiday season now kicking into full gear, Santa’s elves are moving back up to the North Pole for their Christmastime …
HBOMax Brings Back Smallpox for Special One-Time Thanksgiving Reunion
NEW YORK — HBOMax has announced smallpox as the latest recipient of a 2020s reunion and popularity resurgence. “We’re excited to bring Thanksgiving back to …
BREAKING: I Am Free This Saturday If Anyone Wants to Hang Out
BERKELEY, Calif. – According to sources on the Free Peach, accomplished and popular writer Tom Wickline has his schedule open all day this Saturday. This …
College of Engineering Diversity Advert Shows Same Woman 6 Times in Different Costumes
BERKELEY, Calif. — UC Berkeley’s College of Engineering garnered criticism this week upon the release of a diversity pamphlet featuring only one woman, albeit in …
Fuck, There Went All Our “We Lost” Jokes
STANFORD, Calif.- Despite the best efforts of the Stanford Football Team and COVID-19, somehow the Bears clutched a narrow 41-11 victory this weekend. “I just …
OPINION: You Call That Big Game?
So I guess Stanford and Berkeley are duking it out on the gridiron again. Whoop-de-doo. A team with a 3-6 record is going up against …
“Strong” Armed Robber Can’t Even Open Taco Bell Cantina Door
BERKELEY, Calif. — Notorious strong-armed robber Burlap Sachs was arrested this evening while struggling to open the door to the Taco Bell Cantina on Durant …