Though recent vaccinations have catapulted Southside Berkeley into an era where the phrase “I know a brother” no longer doubles as a form of contact …
20 Signs Your Berkeley Boyfriend Jerks Off to a Picture of Elon Musk
This is a serious diagnosis, and we want to give you all the help you need in discovering what he may be doing behind closed doors. You’re sexy and all, but you have to be honest with yourself – there are just some other things that get him off. Here’s a few signs that one of those things is our favorite tech mogul asswad, Elon Musk:
1. He is male
2. He is a white male
3. He is a straight white male
Pussy-Ass Students Still Want Mental Health Support for In-Person Instruction
BERKELEY, Calif. – As the Fall 2021 semester draws near, UC Berkeley students are vying for the continuation of the additional mental health awareness and …
Packing Do’s and Don’ts For New Cal Bears
UC Berkeley is a big, scary place. As the school year approaches, many incoming freshmen may be filled with anxieties. Questions like “How am I going to handle in-person classes?” “What if I don’t make friends?” “What do I do with these two gallons of vegetable oil next to my bed?” may plague our new cohorts. We’re here to help qualm those specific fears, and no others. Here are our top seven packing do’s and don’ts for incoming freshmen. Go Bears!
Memorial Stadium to Easily Return to Full Capacity Due to Chronic Low Attendance
BERKELEY, Calif. — Even though UC Berkeley has announced that the upcoming fall semester will take place in person, many football fans have been concerned …
If I Don’t Write This Article, Shane Will Do Unspeakable Things to Me
I’ll level with you: I’m new here. This is one of the first things I’ve written for The Free Peach. I’ve been trying but… oh geez is this stuff hard. Here’s the thing: Shane Pauker, our beloved leader, doesn’t take no for an answer.
REPORT: Rotting, Maggot-Infested Box On Side Of Road “Definitely Worth Taking A Look At”
Stites has since stated that she doesn’t actually plan to make an effort to go back to look inside the box, citing the fact that she has “too much homework” to walk the two block length today. “Maybe I’ll look tomorrow when I go out to spend half of my weekly allowance on a Strada latte.”
Classics Department Uncovers Greek Text Containing All of ABBA’s Lyrics
At press time, an engineering student in d’Aulaire’s lecture was playing devil’s advocate for Pierce Brosnan’s Mamma Mia! performance.
5 Grad Photo Poses for Your Friend Group That Scream, ‘Best Friends Forever! (But We Fucking Hate You, Jessica. You Will Never Be One of Us.)’
Grab your stoles and champagne and head over to campus to capture this love and celebrate! Use these cute poses to show off your grad moments and incredible friend group to the world – excluding Jessica, of course.
Produce-Related Pickup Lines to Try On That Hot Cashier With the Gauge
Produce-Related Pickup Lines to Try On That Hot Cashier With the Gauge: Are you a vegan-chocolate-covered-raisin? Because I can think of a few things …