WASHINGTON, D.C. – After weeks of debate regarding President Biden’s mental sharpness and ability to formulate basic sentences without sounding like a 400-year-old corpse, he …
Checkmate, Liberals: If Biden is So Good for America, Then Why Do I Feel Empty All the Time?
As a student at UC Berkeley and the child of two hardcore Rachel Maddow enthusiasts, it’s no surprise that I am surrounded by lots of …
OPINION: I’m Not Forgiving Student Loan Until She Actually Apologizes
Student loan and I go way back. We met at the end of my senior year of high school, and at first, everything was picture …
Lindsey Graham Faces Bipartisan Backlash After Advocating for His Own Assassination on Twitter
WASHINGTON, D.C. — Senator Lindsey Graham, R-S.C., received bipartisan backlash after he seemingly advocated his own assassination. “My fellow loyal patriots — I urge you …
Biden Infrastructure Bill Enables Berkeley to Finally Build a Second Two-Way Street
BERKELEY, Calif. — Anticipating infrastructure improvements from President Biden’s Build Back Better Act, Berkeley Mayor Jesse Arreguín has promised to use the new funding to …
Supreme Court Possibly Rules Pro-Anti-Abortion, or Something Like That
WASHINGTON — In a landmark case undecided earlier today, the Supreme Court did nothing. Their indecision to be indifferent towards abortion clinics while ignoring the …
Biden Shows CNR Students Solidarity by Falling Asleep During Lecture on Climate Change
GLASGOW, Scotland — Putting to rest any notions that he is out of touch with the youth, U.S. President Joe Biden recently demonstrated his solidarity …
Climate Summit Reaches Radical Conclusion, Allocating 7.2 Trillion Thoughts and Prayers
GLASGOW, Scotland — After a two-week climate summit, world leaders made the bold decision to allocate 7.2 trillion thoughts and prayers towards the climate crisis. …
Presidential Debate Drinking Game
Drink whenever you feel dread. Trump says they’re gonna take our guns! Shotgun a beer. Take a shot every time Joe Biden references a time …