“Here I am, the Savior, King of Kings, Shepherd and Bishop of Souls, Alpha and Omega, Son of God, blah, blah, blah, and they seriously won’t let me in without an ID? Whatever happened to nepotism?”
Bowman later issued a statement claiming that public defecation was “Like a 4 on the scale of humiliation. After a week of verbally assaulting students on Sproul to inquire about their (obvious lack of) interest in sustainable business, I don’t think I have a sense of self anymore. My humanity kind of feels stripped to an abstract concept after trying to convince three thousand underclassmen that my club is worth taking an Airpod out for.”
Louie, the snake who does coke, lives here. I think he may have worked the desk pre-Covid? Anyway, he’s a slippery, legless asshole but he did invite me to his family’s lake house that one time.