Without further ado, a masterpiece!
Newly #Woke Cal Freshman Has 18 Years Of White Guilt To Catch Up On
“Seriously, it’s so crazy. Did you know that America… is racist?”
Spaghetti Is The Worst Noodle And This Is Why (by Cal Dining)
The Following Argument is completely unbiased and objective.
Cal Sorority Girls Rush to Contract Norovirus in Time for Coachella
Go forth and enjoy, Bears! Use our promo codes HITMYJUUL and MAKEOUTWITHASTRANGER for a Norovirus discount this spring!
Reviewing Student Action’s Executive Slate Based Only on their Photos
If you don’t agree with our assessment, we guess you could actually read into the candidate’s platforms, but that seems like overkill.
Reviewing Cal SERVE’s Executive Slate Based Only on their Photos
And by exhaustive and thorough, we mean we looked at their announcement photos and made up some shit that feels accurate.
Plants Rights Activists Stage Disturbing Protest On Sproul
“Harvest Is Murder,” “Love Your Roots, Stop Eating Carrots,” and “Corn: America’s Most Exploited Worker.”