The Following Argument is completely unbiased and objective.
Cal Sorority Girls Rush to Contract Norovirus in Time for Coachella
Go forth and enjoy, Bears! Use our promo codes HITMYJUUL and MAKEOUTWITHASTRANGER for a Norovirus discount this spring!
Reviewing Student Action’s Executive Slate Based Only on their Photos
If you don’t agree with our assessment, we guess you could actually read into the candidate’s platforms, but that seems like overkill.
Reviewing Cal SERVE’s Executive Slate Based Only on their Photos
And by exhaustive and thorough, we mean we looked at their announcement photos and made up some shit that feels accurate.
Plants Rights Activists Stage Disturbing Protest On Sproul
“Harvest Is Murder,” “Love Your Roots, Stop Eating Carrots,” and “Corn: America’s Most Exploited Worker.”
23 Places Your Humanities GSI Will Be Holding Office Hours This Semester Because The School Didn’t Give Them A Proper Office, Silly
Wherever your Humanities GSI’s office may be, it doesn’t really matter because we all know you won’t be going to office hours anyway!
Opinion: It’s Technically Only ‘Shackles and Champagne’ if They’re From the Champagne Region of France. Otherwise, You Have to Call Them Sparkling Wine and Zip Ties.
top being posers and drink some $2 prosecco, you cretins, while I spray myself with Dom, handcuff a chick with real, police grade cuffs, and bask in the glorious French sun.