Faced with the intrusive, probing question of all dads, dads’ friends, (ex)boyfriends, and weird, overly jovial older men at the gym to whom you respond out of common decency, it’s easy to take the coward’s way out and mutter something vague about a startup. Because really, what are you going to do with your English degree?
Freshman’s Long-distance Relationship Somehow Already Over
According to Braverman, the two have “grown apart” due to the distance and are in “two completely different stages of life.” Jenkins, after all, is a high school volleyball player, while Braverman is simply a player.
Fiji Sincerely Sorry Its Homophobic Slurs Were Caught On Video
“We promise that this will never happen again because while we’re not going to address the deep-rooted homophobia and toxic masculinity in our organization, you can be damn-well sure we’ll be quieter next time!”
Shocking: UC Berkeley Fraternity Organizes Volleyball Tournament for Charity
“We actually lost a lot of money doing this event,” claimed (ΒΜΠ) Philanthropy chair Trevor Blench, “the sand cost us like $7,000. It seems a little ridiculous in hindsight when there is a perfectly good beach volleyball court a few blocks away. But fuck it, now we have sand in our backyard how epic is that! So much beer die and Spikeball opportunity.”
7 Facts About Finals Season at UC Berkeley
The 1st of May always means one thing: Finals Season has begun. Dead Week and Finals Week are right around the corner and students are …
10 Ways To Justify Your 13 Section Absences In Your Course Taught Exclusively In Socratic Seminar
Fear not, we’ve come up with 10 unique ways to convey your 14% attendance rate to your GSI, Marvin.
I Didn’t Find Housing In Time, So Now I Live In The Cartoon Depression Hole From The Abilify Commercial
But also, I’m like, leaving for study abroad in the fall so if someone wants to take over my lease that would be chill. DM for details.
10 Things You Can Finally Do Now That You’ve Been Disqualified from the ASUC Senate
Not to worry! Here are some things you can do with your newfound disqualification from the ASUC!
If You Do Not Fill Out Your Course Evaluation, I Will Unilaterally Wage Jihad (By Your Professor)
I realize that my implicit association of the concept of jihad with the acts of political violence I will definitely inflict on you if you don’t fill out your course evaluation has the ultimate effect of fostering links between Islam and terrorism. As you have guessed, I don’t care, because I am Islamophobic.
10 Songs You NEED To Play At Your Spring Date Party
We guarantee that no matter who’s throwing the party or who you’re there with, these 10 songs will electrify the party like nothing else.