BERKELEY, Calif. – Recognizing the hefty price tag of an inadequate education, UC Berkeley Chancellor Carol Christ has announced an update to the university’s …
Amid Shortages, Kink Club Switches from Latex Gloves to Leather
BERKELEY, Calif. – Kink Club President Philip Cox laid out sweeping changes for members of Berkeley’s sauciest social club at their latest meeting. “The COVID …
Berkeley PD Cybercrimes Division Tracks Zoombomber IP Address to Washington Elementary
When administrators decided to move the UC Berkeley faculty and student body towards “remote learning” in this last month, many obstacles were expected. While …
Carol Christ Consults Ouija Board to Make Decision About Graduation
BERKELEY, Calif.— Chancellor Carol Christ of the University of California, Berkeley, recently consulted a ouija board to make a decision about the institution’s upcoming graduation …
Cal Zero Waste 2020 Finally Succeeds After Students Abandon Campus Amidst COVID-19
BERKELEY, Calif.— “We finally did it!” The heads of Cal Zero Waste 2020 have declared victory. Zero waste has finally been achieved. I recently had …
Berkeley Linguists Discover Hypothetical Second Response to Being Asked “How Are You?”
BERKELEY, Calif. – A research team at the UC Berkeley Department of Linguistics released a watershed report early Friday morning positing the existence of a …
Former ASUC Senator Milton Zerman Pursues Podcast Career with Ben Shapiro
ASUC Senator Milton Zerman resigned from the ASUC at their last senate meeting, February 19th, 2020. While his resignation will not be made official until …
Berkeley’s Most Eligible Bachelors: Valentine’s Day Edition
It’s Valentine’s Day and here at The Free Peach we could think of no better way to celebrate than to showcase Berkeley’s most eligible bachelors. …
Confused Fraternity Brother Gives Partygoers Talk About 5 Pillars of Islam
BERKELEY, Calif. – Sigma Chi pledge Don Wilderman had to strike a match after his door duty at last night’s SX rager, where he delivered …
A Beginner’s Guide to Flirting in Class
Okay, so it’s week three, and by now you’ve definitely spotted the L&S Hotties in your Dwinelle lecture hall. It can be very hard to …