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Everything Your Relatives Fear About Berkeley

Posted on April 20, 2026April 20, 2026 by: The Free Peach

Professor Reminds Class Attendance is Mandatory to Puff Puff Pass the Class

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Category: Berkeley

Posted on April 23, 2019May 12, 2021 by: Amanda Mier

Berkeley Co-op Member Explains Benefits Of Veganism Between Snorts Of Cocaine

Here the conversation took a pause as the local champion of animal rights started gumming the remainder of a drug for which there is an average of six human deaths per kilo sold.

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Posted on April 22, 2019September 28, 2022 by: The Free Peach

This Quiz Will Tell You Which Berkeley Campus Building You’re Most Like, But Be Careful, Because If You Get Dwinelle, The DPRK Will Automatically Launch A Hwasong-15 Intermediate-Range Ballistic Missile Towards The Sea Of Japan

A decisive move that has the potential to irreparably alter relations Korean Peninsula for the foreseeable future.

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Posted on April 20, 2019May 12, 2021 by: Sam MacKinnon

What To Email Your Professor When You’re Skipping Class To Go To Coachella

It’s imperative that you email your Professors and GSI’s a valid excuse for your upcoming absence from class, which will truthfully be due to a drug-fueled wonder party, but you can’t actually be honest about it! Here’s an example email that’s sure to work on your teachers.

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Posted on April 19, 2019May 13, 2021 by: The Free Peach

14 Things That Would Definitely Happen To Berkeley In The Case Of A Bay Area Earthquake

Wealth and Poverty will still require you to attend lecture and use iClickers.

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Posted on April 18, 2019October 7, 2021 by: Maeve Sneddon

Are You “Feeling the Bern” Or Do You Just Have a UTI?

Could the source of this strong, visceral feeling inside possibly be caused by your deep support of Bernie Sanders, the socialist star of the 2020 Democratic presidential race, or do you have a semi-serious medical condition?

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Posted on April 17, 2019April 17, 2019 by: The Free Peach

In Another Massive Overreaction, the ASUC Judicial Council Decides To Publicly Execute Carol Christ Over A Parking Ticket

Yet, there is already a central takeaway. Democracy functions best when built upon the broad shoulders of bureaucratic technicalities.

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Posted on April 16, 2019October 7, 2021 by: The Free Peach

SHOCKING: Your Next 20 ASUC Senators Exposed

This past weekend, the fate of Berkeley was greatly impacted. Twenty eager candidates who are going to take bold strides and truly improve their resumes …

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Posted on April 16, 2019May 13, 2021 by: The Free Peach

20 Superb Events That Could Be Real Now That They Got That $6 Referendum Money!

ASUC Superb presents: ASUC Superb

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Posted on April 16, 2019September 28, 2022 by: The Free Peach

6 Ways To Enjoy the Sunny Weath— Oh, Fuck, It’s Raining Again

Here are 6 wonderful ways to take advantage of the beautiful, sunny weather now that it’s finally spri— oh, fuck.

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Posted on April 16, 2019May 13, 2021 by: Sarah Cassell

Top Thirty Songs We Heard On Cal Day

Swan Lake, Act 3. No. 16 Ballabile: Dance of the Corps de Ballet and the Dwarves: Moderato assai, Allegro vivo.

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