BERKELEY, Calif. – With every election season, The Free Peach’s Editorial Board endorses candidates and measures relevant to its readers. Our endorsements rely on thorough …
Continuing the Halloween Spirit? Project Partner Still Ghosting You
BERKELEY, Calif. – Trick-or-treaters and rave-goers alike were shocked at the stunning dedication to Halloween that occurred today on campus, ranging from the furry club …
Guy in Skimpy Costume Has His “Halloweenie” Out
BERKELEY, Calif. – In a brave display of borderline public nudity, Chi Psi brother Grant N’Pants wore a skimpy yet also somehow unrecognizable costume to …
Satan Bested by 21-Year-Old TikTok Witch
BERKELEY, Calif – Reports surfaced this past week of Satan, also known as Lucifer, being ousted from his regime as ruler of Hell by a …
“Why I Am Not Running for President,” Explains Bob Avakian to Empty Auditorium
BERKELEY, Calif. — All six members of the Revolutionary Communist Party (REVCOM) have flocked to Sproul Plaza in order to campaign for their non-campaigning candidate …
Survey Finds Modern Man’s American Dream is Being Rich Enough to DJ on the Side
SAN FRANCISCO, Calif.–– Yesterday afternoon, new reports came in from Burning Man exit polls showing the new target for young, untalented, Elon-worshiping tech bros: being …
Cuffing Season Accompanied by Red Flag Warning
BERKELEY, Calif. – Northern California residents are encouraged to stay vigilant as a red flag warning has been issued for most of the Bay Area …
Barron Trump Now Socially Liberal, Fiscally Conservative
NEW YORK CITY – After enrolling in NYU Stern this fall with a concentration in “interpretive capitalist philosophy and Big Money,” Barron Trump revealed that …
Awesome! Protest Against War Crimes Perfect Career Opportunity for Journalism Student
BERKELEY, Calif. — Following a year of Israeli war crimes in Gaza, hundreds of students gathered on Sproul to protest the atrocities committed and UC …
Bless Her Heart! Woman Still Says ‘ChatGBT’
BERKELEY, Calif. — A hush fell over UC Berkeley’s Interpreting Shakespeare class this past Thursday morning as third-year Bea Hind inadvertently revealed her academic integrity …