Feeling a little bummed out that tampons are still not recognized as a basic necessity by the federal government and are being taxed as a …
People across the nation are losing their shit.
“During retrograde, a lot of our everyday communication is disrupted,” explained Tigerlily Adams, caucasian yoga instructor and probable anti-vaxxer. “Like, when this undercover cop asked me if I sold shrooms to college kids, I assumed he was in college because that guy looked like a fucking virgin, so I said yes.” Tigerlily is currently under arrest for distribution of drugs to minors, but Tigerlily said “that’s just the way retrograde goes.”
According to the elderly couple, their beloved daily routine –– waking up, watching television, petting their dog Hubert, walking around an elegant New York suburb and cooking dinner –– was drastically affected by Trump.
In a win for women everywhere, Unit 2 RA Jessica Poole has just written up some freshman for alcohol possession.