BERKELEY, Calif. – In a huge move for campus diversity, the UC Berkeley Admissions Board has opted to admit its first Pacific Oceaner student. “Down, …
In Lieu of Tuition Relief, Carol Christ Offers Each Student an Otter Pop
BERKELEY, Calif. – Recognizing the hefty price tag of an inadequate education, UC Berkeley Chancellor Carol Christ has announced an update to the university’s …
Berkeley PD Cybercrimes Division Tracks Zoombomber IP Address to Washington Elementary
When administrators decided to move the UC Berkeley faculty and student body towards “remote learning” in this last month, many obstacles were expected. While …
Berkeley Linguists Discover Hypothetical Second Response to Being Asked “How Are You?”
BERKELEY, Calif. – A research team at the UC Berkeley Department of Linguistics released a watershed report early Friday morning positing the existence of a …
10 Ways To Justify Your 13 Section Absences In Your Course Taught Exclusively In Socratic Seminar
Fear not, we’ve come up with 10 unique ways to convey your 14% attendance rate to your GSI, Marvin.
I Didn’t Find Housing In Time, So Now I Live In The Cartoon Depression Hole From The Abilify Commercial
But also, I’m like, leaving for study abroad in the fall so if someone wants to take over my lease that would be chill. DM for details.
Girl Who Went to Paris That One Time Personally Affected by the Burning of Notre Dame
Kelsey knew she wanted to do something to show she cared. “I had all these photos from my family vacation to France last summer, have I told you about that? It was such a good trip, we went to Paris, I ate so much food!”
In Another Massive Overreaction, the ASUC Judicial Council Decides To Publicly Execute Carol Christ Over A Parking Ticket
Yet, there is already a central takeaway. Democracy functions best when built upon the broad shoulders of bureaucratic technicalities.
Should I Go To Lecture? (by you)
I probably should go to class. I haven’t been to the last two lectures. Or maybe it was the last three lectures. But, that was after the midterm so those ones don’t even really count as skipping because it’s like a free day.
We Got The Personal Essay Of Someone Accepted Into All 9 UCs!
Where to begin? I am free, untethered, uninhibited by this mortal coil and the bounds of acceptable social behaviors.