I want to preface this article by saying that I’m not heterophobic by any means. I watched Outer Banks. I voted for Biden. I can’t …
National Coming Out Day: I’m a Lesbian Who Gets No Action
You might be wondering why this is late. To be honest, I’ve put this off for a long time, and was too nervous to share …
Opinion: I Deleted Social Media Because I’m a Better, More Successful Person than You
Yes, though I know many of you may be shocked and appalled, the rumors are true. I have, in fact, deleted all social media platforms …
Dianne Feinstein to Continue Filibustering Vote on Green New Deal Via Zoom Call From Hell
WASHINGTON, D.C. – After serving a minuscule 31 years in the U.S. Senate, Dianne Feinstein has announced she plans to continue blocking any progress on …
To Those Ordering a ‘Flat White’ at Yali’s: I Am NOT on the Menu
Just as the Campanile bells toll for the start of the hour, caffeine-deprived students far and wide rush to my place of work, the last-standing …
Professor Offers Penalty Kicks in Lieu of Final Exam
BERKELEY, Calif.– Much to the surprise of students enrolled in GLBL 187, “Bullshit Exams and their Cultural Heritage,” Friday the 12th presented an unexpected subversion …
‘It’s Not You, It’s Me,’ Says Doe Library Lamp to Any Charger in Existence Attempting to Plug In
“It’s not you, it’s me,” stated the Doe lamp. “We just don’t fit together. I’m never going to change, even if it would make the lives of thousands of students much easier.”
4 Secret Spots on Campus Seniors Should Visit Before They Graduate!
▇▇ is one of my favorite study spots on campus. Ever since I found out about this place, I haven’t had to desperately circle around …
Architect of Doe Library on Creating a Reverberant Echo Chamber to be Used as a Silent Study Space
In a recent interview, John Galen Howard, architect extraordinaire and builder of Doe Memorial Library, delved into his neoclassical design and his choice in creating a library with acoustics befitting an orchestra concert hall.