BERKELEY, Calif. – Despite her passion for the show, Carol Christ will no longer be participating in ‘Undercover Boss’ as she never managed to get off the waitlist for any of her classes.
QUIZ: Answer These Questions and We’ll Guess How Much Money You Currently Have in Your Bank Account
Please submit all responses to thefreepeach@gmail.com.
University Bans Electric Skateboards and Scooters Due to “Excessively Annoying Vibes”
“Due to an abundance of excessively annoying vibes, and incidents of lesser importance like civilian deaths, use of the following is henceforth banned on campus: electric skateboards, scooters, and any human-operated vehicle that travels at a velocity only appropriate for the German Autobahn,” the Chancellor’s Office announced in their official statement.
Awkward! I Just Ran Over Someone I Haven’t Spoken To Since Middle School
Kenneth is definitely giving off ‘please-go-away’ vibes. He hasn’t made eye contact with me the entire time I’ve been standing here. In fact, his eyes (and every other part of him) haven’t moved at all for the last several minutes. I get it; it’s really weird to meet someone again after such a long time apart. Guess this is my cue to leave.
Class Announcements on Ed but Not Edd or Eddy
BERKELEY, Calif. – Following the announcement that UC Berkeley would officially transition from Piazza to EdStem for course communications, students and faculty are outraged as …
Excuse Me? Only Congress Can Declare A Thumb War
Excuse me? What the fuck did you just say to me, you fascist piece of shit? If I heard you correctly (and believe me, I …
‘There’s No Such Thing As a Stupid Question’ Says Professor Who Hasn’t Heard What I’m About to Ask
BERKELEY, Calif. – Professor Gordon Lievschitz began his class this past Monday with the reassuring phrase, “there’s no such thing as a stupid question,” in …
British Museum Miraculously Understands How to be Respectful to a Dead Body
LONDON, United Kingdom – On Thursday, members of the British government were saddened to learn about the loss of a revenue stream also known as …
New DNA Evidence Exonerates Me of Accidentally Taking Your GBC Order, Kevin
BERKELEY, Calif. — Following careful deliberation, UC Berkeley’s Forensics Department has determined that new DNA evidence exonerates me of accidentally taking your GBC order, Kevin. …
7 Hidden Gems in Dwinelle Hall
Finding a class in Dwinelle Hall is a UC Berkeley rite of passage. According to legend, sibling rivalry caused two architect brothers to split the design of the building and cobble it together later, resulting in the trauma of tens of thousands of freshmen and upperclassmen alike. The following are some hidden gems that may brighten your spirits the next time you’re hopelessly lost in the building!