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Posted on February 2, 2023February 3, 2023 by: Abby Fisher

Groundhog Eats Shadow; Message Unclear

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Tag: Marc Fisher

Posted on March 20, 2021May 5, 2021 by: Shane Pauker

AFX Team Emerges from Underhill With No Knowledge of the Past Year

“We had heard accounts of Carly Rae Jepsen music traveling up from deep underground, but brushed them off as hallucinations that everybody’s subconscious experiences at one point or another.”

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Posted on January 27, 2021May 5, 2021 by: Shane Pauker

UC President Michael Drake Intends for Fully In-Person Kicking Your Ass

“I was a professor of ophthalmology for decades, so I can guarantee: all you’re gonna see is hands.”

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Posted on January 26, 2021May 6, 2021 by: Tyler Goldstein

Chancellor Christ Declares She is The Academic Senate

BERKELEY, Calif. — In a shocking power move, Chancellor Christ has proclaimed that she is the Academic Senate.  “Frankly, the senate is in shambles at …

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Posted on September 25, 2020May 5, 2021 by: Shane Pauker

Urgent Advisory Message: Marc Fisher’s Night Light Is Out And He Needs Somebody to Change It

BERKELEY, Calif. — In his latest public safety update, Vice Chancellor Marc Fisher has informed the Berkeley campus community of another impending hazard. “Dear faculty, …

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