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Everything Your Relatives Fear About Berkeley

Posted on April 30, 2026April 30, 2026 by: The Free Peach

Report: If Your Child Doesn’t Know These Words by 6 Months, You Should Get Them Tested

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Posted on March 5, 2019March 5, 2019 by: The Free Peach

41 Facts About The ASUC

Wow! So many facts about the ASUC.

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Posted on March 4, 2019September 11, 2021 by: Sammy Cornick

23 Places Your Humanities GSI Will Be Holding Office Hours This Semester Because The School Didn’t Give Them A Proper Office, Silly

Wherever your Humanities GSI’s office may be, it doesn’t really matter because we all know you won’t be going to office hours anyway!

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Posted on March 1, 2019May 13, 2021 by: Sarah Cassell

Fuck It! We Ranked All The Sororities at Cal Alphabetically!

Let’s go!

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Posted on March 1, 2019May 12, 2021 by: Amanda Mier

Opinion: It’s Technically Only ‘Shackles and Champagne’ if They’re From the Champagne Region of France. Otherwise, You Have to Call Them Sparkling Wine and Zip Ties.

top being posers and drink some $2 prosecco, you cretins, while I spray myself with Dom, handcuff a chick with real, police grade cuffs, and bask in the glorious French sun.

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Posted on March 1, 2019May 13, 2021 by: The Free Peach

18 Things The Person Who Got Up In The Middle of Your Discussion Section is Actually Doing

Getting their tennis racquet restrung.

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Posted on February 27, 2019May 13, 2021 by: Sarah Cassell

It’s Raining: Should You Leave The House?

It it even worth it?

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Posted on February 27, 2019May 13, 2021 by: Daniel Menegaz

Cut DKE Some Slack. I Fucked A Goat and it Wasn’t That Bad (by George Clooney)

And it is due to that experience that I can no longer sit idly by as brothers of the Delta Kappa Epsilon Fraternity are stigmatized for their alleged goat-based paraphilia.

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Posted on February 27, 2019May 12, 2021 by: Sam MacKinnon

Youngest Class Ever?: Meet UC Berkeley’s Class of 2023

The first wave of UC Berkeley’s class of 2023 has arrived! Apparently, these are some of the best applicants ever. We at The Free Peach did a little bit of investigating to figure out who exactly these new students are

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Posted on February 27, 2019May 13, 2021 by: Ethan Schlatter

UC Berkeley Encourages Turning Point USA To Protest at a School They Could Actually Get Into

So, in compliance with UC Berkeley’s new policy, Turning Point USA has been promptly booted from campus.* Unfortunately, they have sworn they will return, and they have started looking into SAT prep classes. However, to cover their bases, they should probably learn how to read first.

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Posted on February 26, 2019September 11, 2021 by: Sammy Cornick

I Won’t Tell My Mom I Love Her Because She Uses An Android

Sorry mom, but get an iPhone, or get the fuck out of my life.

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Top Posts & Pages

  • Opinion: It’s Technically Only ‘Shackles and Champagne’ if They’re From the Champagne Region of France. Otherwise, You Have to Call Them Sparkling Wine and Zip Ties.
    Opinion: It’s Technically Only ‘Shackles and Champagne’ if They’re From the Champagne Region of France. Otherwise, You Have to Call Them Sparkling Wine and Zip Ties.
  • Alvin, Of “Chipmunks” Fame, Dead of Fentanyl Overdose
    Alvin, Of “Chipmunks” Fame, Dead of Fentanyl Overdose
  • Frank Ocean Emerges From Hiatus to Clarify That He Was Referring to Berkeley City College in Infamous "Novacane" Lyric
    Frank Ocean Emerges From Hiatus to Clarify That He Was Referring to Berkeley City College in Infamous "Novacane" Lyric
  • Phallic Tower in SF Says a Lot About 'Private Business'
    Phallic Tower in SF Says a Lot About 'Private Business'
  • Glade at Capacity: ‘IF YOU DON'T HAVE A BID YOU’RE NOT GETTING IN’
    Glade at Capacity: ‘IF YOU DON'T HAVE A BID YOU’RE NOT GETTING IN’
  • The Official Ranking of My Roommates (Spoiler Alert: Rebecca is the Fucking Worst)
    The Official Ranking of My Roommates (Spoiler Alert: Rebecca is the Fucking Worst)
  • We Sat Down with Judith Butler and Didn’t Understand a Goddamn Word They Said
    We Sat Down with Judith Butler and Didn’t Understand a Goddamn Word They Said
  • Berkeley Acapella Groups Eager for In-Person Fall 2021 So They Can Finally Return to Being Ignored on Sproul
    Berkeley Acapella Groups Eager for In-Person Fall 2021 So They Can Finally Return to Being Ignored on Sproul
  • Premium Properties Demands Gallon of Cum In Addition To 10k Monthly Rent
    Premium Properties Demands Gallon of Cum In Addition To 10k Monthly Rent
  • Woman Who Shit Herself in Public: “At Least I’m Not Being Forced to Hand Out Flyers For My Marketing Club”
    Woman Who Shit Herself in Public: “At Least I’m Not Being Forced to Hand Out Flyers For My Marketing Club”

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