As we reflect on how we can be better in 2022 (which wouldn’t be hard considering the pieces of shit we collectively were in 2021), …
Student Cums While Writing a Negative Course Evaluation
BERKELEY, Calif. — First-year Cal student Tanya Pierre recently exerted her revenge on her calculus professor of four months. “Professor Face makes students feel dumb …
Dog on Glade Unaware He’s Only Source of Meaning in My Life
BERKELEY, Calif. — Amid finals, local terrier Toaster Sanchez has become the only source of meaning in life for many students. “I hate my major, …
I Lived It: I Got Lost Exiting Main Stacks and Somehow Surfaced at Shen Yun 2018
I remember it like it was yesterday. I had done a couple of hours’ worth of work in Main Stacks (like a champ) and was …
Waldo, of “Where’s” Fame, Not Found Anywhere, Presumed Dead
BERKELEY, Calif. – A fourteen-year-long search for the missing Where’s Waldo? star ended Friday morning when investigators declared Waldo ‘dead in absentia.’ “It is with …
Top Ten Boba Teas to Drink While You Gentrify the Neighborhood
Ah, Berkeley. A city rich in culture, diversity, and history. With all of its historic landmarks and Instagram-worthy scenery, it’s no wonder housing prices are …
Help! I Went to Office Hours and Now Can’t Shut the Fuck up About It
For as long as I can remember, I’ve avoided going to office hours. I hated the idea of lingering just outside a professor’s office door …
BREAKING: I Am Free This Saturday If Anyone Wants to Hang Out
BERKELEY, Calif. – According to sources on the Free Peach, accomplished and popular writer Tom Wickline has his schedule open all day this Saturday. This …
College of Engineering Diversity Advert Shows Same Woman 6 Times in Different Costumes
BERKELEY, Calif. — UC Berkeley’s College of Engineering garnered criticism this week upon the release of a diversity pamphlet featuring only one woman, albeit in …
Fuck, There Went All Our “We Lost” Jokes
STANFORD, Calif.- Despite the best efforts of the Stanford Football Team and COVID-19, somehow the Bears clutched a narrow 41-11 victory this weekend. “I just …