I chase their dreams like a dog chasing cars. I put hats on top of each one. Silly hats. Absurd hats. Hell, I bet the Joker would call these “Normal Hats.” These are the buildings. Their hats are their stories.
Heartbreaking! Sophomore’s LinkedIn Profile Edited From “Business Administration” to “Econ”
BERKELEY, Calif. – Two weeks ago, admissions decisions from Berkeley’s Haas School of Business were released, consequently prompting a flurry of LinkedIn activity. “Econ is …
The Free Peach Applicant FAQs
The Free Peach is a student-run news satire publication. We were founded in early 2019 by a group of disgruntled Black Sheep writers who wanted revenge. We’ve been losing popularity ever since!
UC Berkeley #1 in Public Universities That Didn’t Participate in Capitol Riots
Recently, the high council of U.S. News & World Report added a new section to their exhaustive list of university rankings after a UCLA student …
Post-Trump, Wealthy White Woke Grandparents Relieved to Return to Peaceful, Undisturbed Life
According to the elderly couple, their beloved daily routine –– waking up, watching television, petting their dog Hubert, walking around an elegant New York suburb and cooking dinner –– was drastically affected by Trump.
Health Officials Propose Storing COVID Vaccines in Main Stacks Amidst Freezer Space Shortage
The bleak, frozen environment of this place is known for its chilling temperatures and stark landscape as one of the coldest and quietest natural sites in the Northern Hemisphere.
BREAKING: Berkeley DeCals Not Stickers
BERKELEY, Calif. — Several Cal students recently came to the revelation that Berkeley DeCals are, in fact, student-taught classes and not Berkeley-themed stickers. “I was …
Girlboss! The RA Who Just Wrote You up Is a Woman
In a win for women everywhere, Unit 2 RA Jessica Poole has just written up some freshman for alcohol possession.
Horse Tranquilizer Reportedly “Only Way to Relax” After Long Week of Sitting In Bed Staring at a Screen
The Free Peach doesn’t condone drug use. Well, maybe we do, but only if you’re cool and most certainly not if you’re in Greek life.
Organizers Plan to Make People’s Park a Regents’ Scholar So the University Actually Respects It
The decades-long battle against the university over People’s Park is gaining traction once again, aided by a new initiative to make the park a Regents’ Scholar.