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Tag: Carol Christ

Posted on March 18, 2024March 18, 2024 by: samgriffith

Embarrassing! Carol Christ Accidentally Shrinks Blue Suit in the Dryer, and Now it Looks a Little Weird

BERKELEY, Calif. — UC Berkeley Chancellor Carol Christ shocked the student body this morning with her latest appearance on Sproul Plaza, during which it was …

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Posted on April 23, 2022 by: Shane Pauker

Campus Curbs Spread of Misinformation by Simply Not Providing Any Information

BERKELEY, Calif. — In an attempt to limit the spread of potential misinformation regarding yesterday’s campus-wide threat, UC Berkeley administrators announced that, going forward, they …

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Posted on March 19, 2022 by: Tohar Zamir

End of an Era: Carol Christ’s Voice Actor Has Been Fired

BERKELEY, Calif.—Shock and heartbreak swept through the City of Berkeley as UC Regents announced that Carol Christ’s longstanding voice actor, Eden Zalahmi, will not be …

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Posted on February 22, 2022 by: Valmic Mukund

New Plan To Expand Student Housing Involves Invading Ukraine

BERKELEY, Calif. – The University of California recently announced its opposition to a Russian invasion of Ukraine, citing its own plans to invade Ukraine for …

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Posted on February 19, 2022December 15, 2022 by: amychakladar

Berkeley Mask Mandate Reinstated After Seeing Your Face

BERKELEY, Calif. — After extensive pushback from the local community relating to concerns of corneal damage after seeing your face, the UC Berkeley administration has …

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Posted on February 1, 2022March 5, 2022 by: amychakladar

Class No Longer Optional

BERKELEY, Calif. — To the dismay of Cal students, University Chancellor Carol Christ has  officially ended the two-week extension of Winter Break and announced that …

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Posted on November 15, 2021November 15, 2021 by: Valmic Mukund

Carol Christ Spotted on Sproul With Pete Davidson

BERKELEY, Calif. – Sources confirmed Friday that Chancellor Carol Christ was spotted on Sproul Plaza holding hands with New York City native Pete Davidson. “They …

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Posted on November 1, 2021March 2, 2022 by: Tyler Goldstein

Top 13 Berkeley-Themed Halloween Costumes

1. Slutty Oski Oski is the scariest mascot in America. He eats children, students, and parents alike. He terrifies the other football team, though not …

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Posted on October 16, 2021October 27, 2021 by: emmasmith6

Carol Christ Attends Cal Football VIP Box Seats in “Save People’s Park” Gown

Carol Christ went full glam at last weekend’s home game, proving she’s not only capable of stealing land, but also the spotlight. “Oh this little …

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Posted on October 13, 2021 by: Tohar Zamir

A Retrospective: Carol Christ Ponders, “Did We Steal Enough Indigenous Land?”

“Yet we have to consider, did we steal enough land?” Christ wrote. “We’ve got students to house, and, like, I mean, listen: a $4.1 billion endowment doesn’t exactly make us rich you know?  What, you expect us to just buy a building to develop over when there’s some perfectly good public space right there for the taking?”

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