The bleak, frozen environment of this place is known for its chilling temperatures and stark landscape as one of the coldest and quietest natural sites in the Northern Hemisphere.
BREAKING: Berkeley DeCals Not Stickers
BERKELEY, Calif. — Several Cal students recently came to the revelation that Berkeley DeCals are, in fact, student-taught classes and not Berkeley-themed stickers. “I was …
Girlboss! The RA Who Just Wrote You up Is a Woman
In a win for women everywhere, Unit 2 RA Jessica Poole has just written up some freshman for alcohol possession.
Horse Tranquilizer Reportedly “Only Way to Relax” After Long Week of Sitting In Bed Staring at a Screen
The Free Peach doesn’t condone drug use. Well, maybe we do, but only if you’re cool and most certainly not if you’re in Greek life.
Organizers Plan to Make People’s Park a Regents’ Scholar So the University Actually Respects It
The decades-long battle against the university over People’s Park is gaining traction once again, aided by a new initiative to make the park a Regents’ Scholar.
Frats Stop Counting at Seven COVID Cases
BERKELEY, Calif. – Despite anecdotal evidence of fraternities being COVID hotbeds, a report by the Interfraternity Council suggests otherwise. “Stop lying to the people, dude,” …
Eye of Sauron Appears Over Campanile, No One Cares
“Oh boohoo, the ruler of Mordor is now looking at everything I do,” sarcastically exclaimed sophomore Derrick Quincy. “My TikTok For You Page is clearly based on things I say out loud, and Bcourses can monitor how much time I spend on their website. I clearly don’t have any privacy, why should I care if Sauron is looking at me too? At least he’s upfront and honest about it, unlike everyone else.”
Campus Libraries Ranked by How Cool Their New Vermin Overlords Are
Louie, the snake who does coke, lives here. I think he may have worked the desk pre-Covid? Anyway, he’s a slippery, legless asshole but he did invite me to his family’s lake house that one time.
Fire on Frat Row: Six Injured After Refusing to Stop, Drop, and Roll on the Sticky, Beer-drenched Floor
“This girl, Becky. Her leggings were on fire. I yelled at her to stop, drop, and roll, but she just turned around calmly and told me, ‘Oh my god… no… you want me?… to roll?… on that disgusting floor?’”
Cal Football Announces 2021 Giveaways
BERKELEY, Calif. — With hopes of having Fall 2021 games be attended in-person, Cal football has announced its giveaway lineup. This upcoming season’s giveaways include …